As long time readers of our blog know, I am not a fan of orgasm denial. Richard and I had a somewhat heated exchange about this (documented in the blog) early in our relationship. My feeling was I’d spent most of my life in unsatisfying vanilla relationships experiencing plenty of orgasm denial. Now I was finally in a thrilling, deeply satisfying D/s relationship and I wanted to cum as much as was humanly possible.
Richard’s attitude can best be summed up as “I have many tools with which I dominate you. Some are pleasurable, some are painful. I will use the ones I choose, when I choose.” <insert evil laughter here>
Happily, Richard’s inner hedonist usually wins out over his inner denier-of-good-stuff-to-Amy.
Furthermore. Richard told me when we were first together that he had no interest in micro-managing. He said why would he want to spend time choosing what I wear or reading all my emails or saying what I could or couldn’t eat? Who was the Dom, then, if he was always running around seeing to me?
One tiny thing that was different than that, of course, was my needing to ask permission to go to the bathroom. And I pretty much have to ask whenever I want to leave the room or do something different. I think of it as asking permission to change my status. : )
Well. Here is one thing I know about Richard. He changes his mind. (For example, before we met in person, he told me he would not ask to see me topless on webcam until we had met in person. Awesome, I was a webcam virgin and terrified at the thought. Within a couple of weeks he had my shirt off. Then pants off. Then (I am so embarrassed to admit this) he made me masturbate for him on webcam…almost nightly for a while. Now you know why we moved in together so quickly; I was going to die from humiliation if he didn’t.)
Richard has, over the last few months, begun to enjoy micro-managing me. The first thing began as a joke. Richard doesn’t like mayonnaise AT ALL, I love mayonnaise. One day when I was teasing him, suggesting I put some mayonnaise on his sandwich he said “No. I don’t want mayonnaise on my sandwich. And you don’t get it either.”
I stopped, startled, and looked over at him. He grinned and was silent for a second, obviously savoring my surprise. “In fact, you can’t have mayonnaise anymore. You are banned from mayonnaise.” He nodded at the jar, “You might as well throw that out, since the kids don’t eat mayonnaise either.”
I started to argue with him but his eyebrows shot up. Never a good sign. His voice got silky. “Maybe you don’t want butter either? Would that make you happier, little girl?” So I grimaced and said “No sir. No mayonnaise is fine. Thank you.”
In the past, he’s tried out banning things but then Richard the hedonist says “Noooo that’s interfering with MY pleasure”. Things like wine, or ice cream, or (shudder) orgasms. Of course, he could go ahead and enjoy wine or ice cream without me, and that would be even sexier, but he doesn’t seem to like that.
Last week he banned sodas. *sob* I am addicted to Diet Pepsi. But I think it has been hurting my stomach and possibly making me more susceptible to migraines. I’ve been trying to cut down, but it doesn’t work. So he up and decided to ban them. Hooboy this has been hard. And this time he hasn’t stopped ordering Diet Pepsi himself. He’ll sometimes let me have a sip (sometimes not) and oooooh the bliss! Nectar of the gods! He says he wants me to feel every sip of soda is a gift from him to me. Which it definitely feels like, just like the very occasional sandwich with mayo that I am allowed.
What does this have to do with not being allowed to cum? Well, he’s been enjoying this banning business and I guess he worked up to banning orgasm. The other day he was fucking me sooooo deliciously. After a very, very long time he got worn out and he stopped and said “I’m too tired to cum. Here, let’s make you cum, little girl.” I started to fuss, as I often do when he tells me what to do. “I’m too tired to cum. I probably can’t.” Usually he says “Come on. Do it. Don’t be sassy.” And I fuss a little more, but eventually I get around to cumming.
Not this time. He said “Fine. You won’t cum. In fact, you aren’t going to cum today at all. And we’ll see about whether you can cum tomorrow.” Of course that made me desperate to cum, but he was adamant. This was especially distressing to me, because lately I have been wanting/needing (which is it? I don’t know) to cum a LOT.
So now it has been like three days and I am humming like a tightly strung bow. I may spontaneously combust if he doesn’t let me cum soon. Hopefully he will read this and say “Aww, poor little girl. Let’s make you cum.” And not “Oh I LIKE this. Let’s do it some more.”
Pray for me, dear readers.
xoAmy
