Orgasms and Megan
Long-time readers of our blog know that my friend Megan, who had a huge impact on my blossoming as a sexual submissive, now lives far away from us with her wonderful, evil Master. I have missed her like crazy and have been counting the minutes until we saw her this summer. We just left after spending four nights with her and her Master. I was in seventh heaven and, as usual when I am with Megan, learned a lot about being submissive and being myself.
She and Robert (her Master) pulled up to where we were staying and I ran over to their car. Robert got out first and I said “hi!” and hopped up and down waiting for Megan to get out. Then I realized she was waiting for Robert to let her out of the car, like Richard makes me do. So I gave Robert a big hug and waited for him to go around and open the door for Megan.
The first thing I saw was a tanned foot in a 3-inch beaded sandal, with red toenails and toe rings. Followed by a long, shapely, tanned leg. And then another. Then a tall, gorgeous blond with a tiny little dress unfolded from the car. Perfectly styled hair, knockout make-up, and of course the trademark killer body. Wow!
Megan has always been jaw-droppingly gorgeous. But she had entered a new realm of beautiful. And the most beautiful thing was her face, because she was glowing. Just radiating love, happiness, self-confidence.
I don’t think I stopped hugging her for an hour.
We stayed up talking for hours. I can’t tell you how thrilled I am about her Master (I keep starting to say “new Master” but of course he’s not; they’ve been together for over a year now.) I told Megan that of course I would always care about whoever her partner was, but Robert is someone I would want to be friends with even if they weren’t together. He is really smart and has a terrific sense of humor – my two top priorities for friends and partners. He also makes it really clear how much he loves my Megan. He is very attentive and affectionate; he does something that I think must be very hard to do, which is to treat her with complete respect but also demand her utter obedience.
At one point I mentioned that I had bought Richard a whip for Father’s Day (what was I thinking?) and I asked if he knew how to use a whip. He said “No, I don’t. But that makes it hotter, doesn’t it?” !!!! That could have come out of Richard’s mouth! I was almost too startled by the similarity to laugh.
I can’t remember whether it was that night or the next morning that Megan told us that she hadn’t had an orgasm in a year. I stared at her with my mouth open, I actually thought she was teasing me at first (she does that a LOT). When I wrote about my three day orgasm denial, which I thought might kill me, I had almost written about a conversation Megan and I had the year before. We had agreed that orgasm denial was completely NotHot, and we couldn’t imagine any woman ever agreeing to it. It was a hard limit for her.
So. What the heck? How could my sweet little cumslut friend not have cum for an entire year, and be sitting across from me looking like the cat that ate the canary? How could she be glowing with happiness and satisfaction after a year of being deprived of orgasms?
Richard’s response was worrying. He thought this was just awesome. He was grinning from ear to ear as we listened to her story. At first, Robert enjoyed making her cum, over and over and over. Which was sexy and exhausting. Then he started telling her she could only cum if she did before he did. Which she managed to do, until he started messing with her, stopping just as she was on the edge and then orgasming quickly himself before she could regroup. I remember her telling me about this at the time, and how hot and desperate and submissive it made her feel. THEN he told her that it was making her too focused on her own pleasure and not enough on his, so…no more orgasms for her. Period.
Megan said “I love it! This is really perfect for me. I am getting fucked deliciously all the time, and I’m not worrying about whether or not I will cum, because I won’t.” She added with a grin “But maybe he’s just brainwashed me into thinking this.” She was tucked under his arm as she told the story and at this point she looked up at him and he looked at her and there was so much love between them, I’m tearing up right now thinking about it.
Of course we talked about this on and off over the next few days, in between talking about her job and our kids and her and Robert’s future plans and more kinky stuff, like the strip clubs they go to (more on this in a later post; we visited one with them and it was a blast) and their evolving polyamorous relationship, and Second Life and on-line role-play, and on being D/s while dealing with migraines, and on and on (more on all of these later too).
When I talked to Richard about Megan’s orgasm-free existence, he said “The right tools for the right job.” He said it made perfect sense to him that this was exactly the right thing for Megan and he pointed out that you could see it by the results. Robert says he’s not a details-oriented Dom, he’s a results-oriented Dom. Another way that he is like Richard. (I told Megan they are even boring in the same way; they both like Civil War history. *yawn* I got a swat for saying that and Megan got bitten hard when she told Robert I said that. I said “You didn’t tell him I said it, did you??” And she said, “Yes, and it was worth it!”)
This post is getting way too long, so I will write more later. I just want to add that, in case it’s not obvious, Robert made this decision carefully and thoughtfully and they are both very happy with it. Robert says the next step is to make her FAKE orgasms when he is fucking her. Who could even think of anything that evil? Well, besides Richard I mean.
Wow. I know I can go a while without orgasm, so Richard (my husband) is more focused on making me have them than denying them. It used to be nothing for me to go months without. Although we discovered that it greatly affects my mood. But I wonder… If I got over the moodyness, if I would be able to do that. *ponders*
Anyways, I hope to one day find a friend like that. Right now I feel very alone in the world, not having someone, other than R, to talk to.
You are a very lucky woman!
Comment by Natasha A. — July 9, 2009 @ 3:45 pm
While I *really* can’t say I see myself getting behind the long-term denial thing, I howled at the making her fake orgasms thing. I’m afraid I know someone just that devious myself and I could just picture the intrigued look on his face… too funny! (But I won’t be having him read this post, either!
)
I look forward to the rest of the stories…
Comment by Jz — July 9, 2009 @ 4:18 pm
I cannot imagine not enjoying a womans’orgasm after a period of denial. Let alone denying one for a year and then asking her to fake them. There is nothing more satisfying than hearing and feeling her orgasms that you control.
Comment by Dvid — July 9, 2009 @ 9:22 pm
Jeez….this sounds more like SELF denial to me.
Robert is denying himself that amazing feeling of his lady orgasming during love making.
Why I wonder?
Also, isnt it cruel to impose such restrictions on the one you love?
Comment by Joe — July 10, 2009 @ 3:10 am
Hmmmm…. I am devilish enough myself to consider the idea of having real orgasms while pretending I am having fake orgasms. How will he ever know the difference? Hehe. Though I understand you submissive types probably can’t fake “faking.” To each his own… While I think the idea of orgasm denial is hot up to a point - I don’t think I could last a year under these rules! Yikes!
Comment by jojo — July 10, 2009 @ 10:06 am
I am amused to see everyone focusing on the tool, and not the result. Having or not having orgasms is irrelevant; it’s the end result that matters.
For Megan, it is working perfectly. She’s happy, contented and visibly glowing with some indefinable rapture. It’s interesting that her Master experimented with her, first making her cum often, then refining the use of this tool and discovering just what worked best for his girl.
Who knew it would be no orgasms at all?!
Well, seriously, orgasms aren’t that big a deal. It’s the fucking that is the fun part, where you get your intimacy. And I’ve often chosen in the past not to cum, because I enjoy the primal hunting edge it gives me in the rest of my life. Especially if I’m going to be doing any photography. Satiation can be a dulling tool.
It’s wonderfully cruel, and deliciously decadent - it’s a thrill just top be in the presence of this exciting, sensual woman and know that she’s very able, but forbidden, to cum. The ultimate sex toy, in so many ways.
Both Megan and her Master have given up the pleasures around her orgasms.
But he’s exchanged them for something even better.
Comment by Richard — July 11, 2009 @ 7:08 am
Natasha, I am very lucky; having friends who know your whole self makes being submissive so much easier. Remember that I met Megan and now Chantal online, my two best friends (not to mention Richard, my soulmate). Come visit us on Second Life!
Jz, I laughed at the faking thing too! You have to admire true evil genius. Of course, I wouldn’t have laughed if it had been Richard talking about it (he thought this was awesome too.
).
Dvid, yes, I think you got it exactly right - “orgasms you control”. Whether it’s forcing orgasms or denying them, it is about control.
Joe, yep, it’s cruel. That’s the point.
Clearly Robert (and Megan) are getting more from her NOT having orgasms than if she had them. It wouldn’t work for a lot of people, but it works beautifully for them.
Jojo, omg you made me laugh out loud. You ARE devilish!
Daddy…never mind. *zips her lip*
xoAmy
Comment by Amy — July 11, 2009 @ 8:33 am
Hehe, you are so cute. I can totally picture you jumping up and down while you wait for Megan to get out of the car.
Comment by Chantal — July 12, 2009 @ 6:37 pm
A whole year huh? Sounds like quite the endurance test
Comment by J — July 20, 2009 @ 2:13 pm
Richard and Amy I love you both and your posts and replies were so beautiful and made me giggle and swoon and miss you LOTS!!!!! You’re so good to me!
Richard… you’re right on all points except that Robert didn’t exactly “try this out and found it to be what worked best for me”, it was more that it’s what really turns him on and it turns out it was his evil plot from the very beginning - and wonderful luck had it work out to be really yummy for me too!!! Luckily it did work excellently, as soon as I got over my dread and panic. The “weening of orgasms” was quite hilarious now that I think back. Evil manipulative man, he is!
J.. not really endurance test… honestly at this point I don’t even miss them and if he told me I could have them back I’d be totally bummed. The only person here who can qualify the meaningfulness of this statement is Amy because she knows I LOVED my orgasms and was very good at cumming! LOL. But now I just totally focus on his pleasure and I KNOW IT SOUNDS LAME but it’s really hot, it’s like every time he fucks me he’s actively and sadistically pwning my ass just by the fact that he’s deliberately depriving me of those orgasms, and I’m tuned into his pleasure on a whole new delicious level!
This wouldn’t be hot if it was part of intimacy withdrawal/sex denial or general lack of interest. It’s hot because he fucks me LOTS and he’s super tuned into me. It’s not that he doesn’t care, or that it’s a convenient way of creating emotional distance between us, it’s that he’s perverted and sadistic and loves that I suffer and lack for him, and it’s very very intense and yummy. He doesn’t want to tune down my fire at all… some of his happy moments are after he fucks me hard both physically and emotionally (yummy humiliation), and I’m sooooooooooooooo turned on and squirming and rubbing against his leg… just until I’m about to cum and then slink back like a good girl and fall asleep in his arms, wanting and needy.
It’s hard to explain it but this lack of satisfaction is strangely satisfying
Comment by megan — July 20, 2009 @ 8:06 pm
Sounds like everyone is having a good time, which is important
Comment by J — July 23, 2009 @ 12:59 pm
well, hope you don’t mind relative strangers popping in (I’ve come across your writings before and enjoyd them). Of course the issue at hand is that Megan and Robert are fine with their dynamic the way it is - so more power to them. As long as it works for both, then that is that.
I just do want to say that i’ve know couples who have practiced that for a very long time - and almost inevitably, the woman becomes INCAPABLE of orgasming wiht time it just becomes deeply ingrained. and granted, my own take is more like joe’s - I don’t get it - but that’s me.
Comment by selkie — August 22, 2009 @ 8:01 am
I’ve known women incapable of orgasm, but the idea of taking one who IS capable, and over time removing that sounds pretty sexy selkie!
Comment by Richard — September 2, 2009 @ 8:21 am
I’d guess that after a while the ability to orgasm would cease. We are very capable of protecting ourselves by learning new tricks. But what value would a fake orgasm have when there would be no muscular contractions in the vagina to give added stimulation to the prick.
Still listening to all the men I know who can’t get pleasurable sex from their wives I’d say your friend is very kinky indeed to want that from his own partner.
Comment by jayne — June 22, 2010 @ 1:19 am
I’ve lurked here a lot, but I kinda think I haven’t posted before. Anyway, I’m a submissive guy, and I’m very lucky to be married to a dominant woman who controls me in lots of ways, but not least being the orgasm thing. I am kind of in awe of Megan; Murre has never kept me for more than six months without getting to come. But I totally get it. Right now I get to come monthly, and that seems like overkill. My impression is that this is mostly a male kink; the typical submissive woman is into orgasm denial for twenty minutes or so, but that’s about the limit. I like to see that this generalization is not entirely true.
For Joe and Selkie–I think orgasm denial can be a really interesting thing for the right couple, because sex in the West (ever since the ’60s, anyway) is kind of orgasm-focused, and there’s a lot more to sex than just coming. Knowing that you won’t get to come, on a particular occasion or ever, can be liberating in a weird, submissive-y way. (I know, for instance, that lots of straight women find it stressful to make sure they’ll come so their lover feels like he’s the mac.) I think focusing on orgasms as the “purpose” of sex kind of belittles all the enjoyment that exists in just playing with each other, or serving someone, or getting someone else off, or being used.
Not that everyone should stop having orgasms. I’m just trying to explain why some of us don’t want to make that the gold standard of sex.
Richard, Amy–Y’all are hot.
Comment by Orlando C — July 9, 2010 @ 11:05 am